dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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