JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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