Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
