Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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