it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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