Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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