we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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