That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
