I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
