So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
