careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize