So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
