Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
