I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
