just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
