did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
