I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
