just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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