a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
