if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
