Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
