My first STD was from a foam party
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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