Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
