You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
