I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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