I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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