i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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