i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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