Swine flu. Run for my life!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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