i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
