I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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