Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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