I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize