You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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