I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
