She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
