As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
