dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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