Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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