the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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