So drunk, too bad you don't want this
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
