The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
