I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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