I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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