I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
well you can't waste a boner
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
