uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
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