What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
