i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
