playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
