so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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