I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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