no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you didnt know i had herpes?
birth control should be required to get into college
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
