Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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