my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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