I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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