I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize