So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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